How to Handle A Troubled Teen
Parenting is truly one of the hardest jobs in the world and it takes an incredible amount of patience and perseverance to do it well. The physical and emotional demands of parenting can be extremely challenging. You can implement all the tips and pointers from popular parenting books, websites and blogs and still find yourself overwhelmed and exhausted with your parental responsibilities.
The emotional challenges of parenting usually begin to compound when your sweet-natured baby who doted on you, transitions from childhood to adolescence. You may lie awake for nights on end despairing over your child’s behavioral issues, fretting about your incessant arguments and worrying about their violent outbursts. Your teen may have shut you out of their personal life, stopped sharing their secrets with you or begun to display troubling traits like substance abuse, unpredictable mood swings or simply “hanging out” with the wrong kind of people. In such situations, it is normal to need help handling your child. Read on to see how you can make life easier for both of you.
Try to Reconnect Emotionally with Your Teen
Although it may not appear so, most children constantly crave for the love, affection, support and respect of their parents. However, it might just be time to realize that your child is now maturing into an adult and is invariably going to have independent thoughts and opinions that may not be in keeping with your own beliefs and values. Even if your teen has become rude and distant, try to be there for them without coddling or suffocating them with questions and frustrated remarks. Let them know that you are always there to help should they need any help or guidance.
Lay Down Some Ground Rules
You should make it a point to lay down some ground rules at home such as family time, homework time, meals without television or phones and even a curfew. Encourage good behaviors like healthy eating, regular exercise and proper hygiene. Children need structure and it is a parent’s responsibility to give it to them. Some psychologists recommend moderate use of a reward system to motivate good behavior in your teens.
Watch Your Own Temper
Adolescent rebellion is common everywhere. Your teen’s outright disobedience may be driving you up the wall but do not respond to such behavior with fury or annoyance. In other words, try not to yell or raise your voice. Coping with a difficult teenager can induce rage at times but you should never lose your cool in front of them. If you find yourself angry or irritated, refrain from confrontations until you feel calm and composed. Initiate a conversation to discuss your concerns or express your displeasure when you feel better
Do Not Judge or Criticize
If your teen seems willing to discuss their problems or share their secrets with you, be compassionate and listen without judging them or ridiculing their choices. This will only aggravate the problem and drive them further away from you. After all, remember that we have all made poor choices at some point or the other.
Take Good Care of Yourself
Parenting a troubled teen can drain you both physically and emotionally but you must learn to take care of yourself. Find time for activities that make you happy and spend time with your loved ones. If you have other children, make sure you don’t neglect their needs by focusing all your attention and energy on the difficult child. Doing so is likely to make the other children resentful towards the sibling and you.
Seek Professional Help
If you have exhausted all reasonable options and your repeated attempts at reconciliation are met with scorn or anger by your teen, seek help from a qualified teen therapist. Therapy and life coaching can help them work through their problems and cope better with life and its stressful situations.
Dealing with a troubled teen can be difficult and stressful. It requires the ability to incorporate structure into the household while still maintaining open lines of communication. Although adolescence comes with the expected ups and downs, it is important to recognize the signs of potential problems. Sometimes, it is necessary to seek professional help in order to raise your child properly.